Life Takes Over: Coco Chanel the Cat

How time flies! It has been many months since I have posted here.
It has been a hectic last seven months. To say the least: close encounters with our troubled health care system, for both humans and animals. The unexpected loss of a pet has lead to the adoption of a new one.


Several months ago, one of my two adopted cats showed signs of illness: a limp. "Sheba" I adopted through contacts on petfinder.com about 2 years ago. A sleek, solid black half-Persian, I quickly re-named her "Coco Chanel."

Coco hailed from the hills of Boone, North Carolina. On a road trip south, I made a detour trip to rescue her. From the start, she never was a "lap cat", in fact, her behavior lead me to believe she was probably a feral kitten.
In any event, Coco was a companion to my neutered, Norwegian Forest cat mix, Loki,
and part of the family.

In late September, Coco showed signs of limping, not eating well, and avoiding contact. Saturday is not a good day for setting vet appointments.Little did I know what would transpire.

For any pet owner who has not been forced to go to an emergency vet, let this be a cautionary tale. In this area, there are not many emergency vets clinics.
Luckily, I thought, an appointment was available in nearby Rockville, Maryland.
The emergency vet clinic there probably followed all protocol- resulting in a large bill due on the spot. The problem was the attending doctor misdiagnosed Coco, stating it was simply a cut paw that needed to heal with antibiotics, etc. I was advised to take her to my neighborhood vet in several days, which I did. The whole upshot of this story: the local vet immediately suspected a cancerous cyst, which was growing, breaking the skin- making one of her toes three times normal size. The final visit a few days later confirmed it was not a wound, but indeed a cancerous cyst. The vet made a small sketch of the pea size growth on the chart. On seeing it a few days later, the cyst had grown even larger. The only humane choice was to euthanize the animal vs. amputation of limb, frequent & expensive oncology visits to NW, DC, & no guarantee of even six more months of life. Coco was euthanized with Loki beside me,after some minutes of privacy saying goodbye while she laid on the exam table.

After this heartbreaking, shocking experience, I credit the local vet for their professionalism and compassion. The total opposite of the emergency clinic.

When I contacted the emergency clinic by phone to inform them of the outcome, they could not care less. They had no intention of offering any kind of apology, much less compensation for their gross misdiagnosis and treatment. In fact, their staff person refused to even state their name, during the call. In total frustration, I declared that I had given them the chance to do the right thing, (to make some kind of compensation), or I would go public. Their response: "Do what you have to do."

Hence, this post. Pet owners be warned!

When Proms Were Not Always Cool, But- OMG !-Optional

In the midst of prom season, one cannot help but think of their own prom night.
Count me guilty. As other late baby boomers can attest, there was a day when not everyone looked forward to the prom.
Yes, can you believe it? Prom apathy. Other activities preferred, thank you.
(And no, for the record, we were not feeling discriminated against for any reason).

So, in where in the world did this happen? Right here in the Maryland suburbs of Washington, DC, circa 1974. (A dear friend now in Boston concurs that this apathy also existed in the heart of NW, DC in 1972 with her "Non-Prom Night".)
Despite urgings from several good girlfriends, I could not bring myself to go to the prom. The main reason was no real "boyfriend" I was willing to call my date for that event. One friend,(now a staunchly conservative Republican)offered to find me a blind date,YIKES ! Just the thought of that scenerio could produce instant blemishes!

Prom preparation for me went as far as designing my own long dress, which actually turned out to be quite stunning. It was a bohemian princess type of dress, with long, full sleeves, empire waistline with matching narrow sashes,
in a tile print challis in colors of navy,emerald, turquoise and fuschia. After several wearings for special occasions, I donated it back in the '90's to the costume department at American University, a proper final destination.
Yes, that "boho" look was ours for sure!

At the risk of being deemed "anti-social" or worse yet, a "nerd", I can honestly say I was social enough. Stage crew, drill team, etc. were extra-curricular activities by choice.
At this time of Watergate in the news, protests at Dupont Circle, the real parties were happening downtown in DC. Georgetown in particular, was the most fun back then.
What a better way to spend Prom Night then to blow it off, opting for Georgetown instead. As we were underage, it was not exactly a smooth pub crawl, but at least we had fun. (And yes, our parents didn't have a clue. But we did get home a decent enough hour, with no arrests or complaints of any kind).

What an evolution in the whole concept of prom through these past decades. The stretch limos in particular- hopefully, there are college funds intact without this particular "perk" being deemed necessary for one night.

(Some of us easily blame the Nixon Administration's Watergate-induced toxic atmosphere for spreading a dark cloud over our senior year of high school. That's life.)

Last week, on a national evening news show, a story surfaced re: a great-grandmother going to a prom because she missed her own. Hopefully, she had a good time. Chances are she did, with not having to worry about curfews, potential hickies, or worse:
such as losing her virginity a la "American Graffiti", (and countless other teen movies).

This "Make-Up Prom" idea hit home enough for me to continue to establish a social club, as previously mentioned in this blog. It will have the added advantage to offering potential venues for such an event.

Proms have also been given much more importance: a true Rite of Passage.
For this reason alone, I will check out the best dates, not ruling out astrology and the tarot for the timing of the "Make-Up Prom".

Belated Happy Birthday to Ann-Margret

Ann Margret's birthday was April 28th.
Many thanks to my parents & fate to share this birthday with a fellow redhead !

Remembering Lynn Redgrave, "Georgy Girl"

The Best Hats of Derby Day

Mean Girls: Ten Ways to Not Go Mean

An idea came to me to address any younger readers who may need inspiration of sorts.

Here is a list of things to think about that may persuade a potential or practicing mean Girl who would like to go straight, ie: nice.
Note: This is not a prioritized list. It is a stream of suggestions from an Aunt.
Remember: your major goal should be balance in body, mind & spirit!

1. Before you leave for school, look at yourself in the mirror without make-up.
If you have been spending too much time "in the looking glass", then limit it to
only 3 times a day. Read the Greek myth of Narcissus- a cautionary tale.
If you have been wearing heavy mascara &/or eyeliner, try days without the
liner and maybe less mascara,(or the brown/black color). You may be
pleasantly surprised. This is your time of natural beauty. You are not competing
to be the proverbial "fairest in the land".

You should be striving to put your "best face forward", in every sense.


2. Look "inside" your heart to be in touch with your feelings.

If you hold negative feelings, then decide to purge them for good.

Jealousy, Envy, etc. should only be fleeting feelings. Let them go.


3. Respect yourself. Treat others with the same respect you would want
to be shown. "Others" are your family, friends, classmates,etc.-everyone.

Google "The Beatitudes" which may or not be familiar to you.
These could be spiritual words to live by, that you could follow
in your everyday life. No one is "perfect", true enough, but one can try.

4. Be aware of your voice and the words that come out of your mouth.
How you sound and how you carry your body speak volumes to the world.
Do you want to be seen as someone who would not be welcome in decent company?
As trite as it may sound, check out etiquette books for some basics.
Forget about those Hollywood bad girls. Choose your own positive role models.

5. Give up any idea that you are better or worse than anyone else. You are a
work in progress, a woman in the making. Think of yourself as trainee for the
best life you can make for yourself- one which does not come at the expense of
other people. If you don't have chores at home, ask your parents if they need help
with anything for the family. You may be surprised. If you have no college fund,
start one. Try to incorporate your interests/talents with economic rewards in
perspective: don't expect too much to soon. Everyone had to start somewhere.
Remember: you are not entitled, ie: "entitlement" attitude is nowhere.

6. Be nice to your parents & siblings, or at least, try to stay neutral.
Even if your brother is a total nerd, or the opposite, only say positive things
about him. Don't criticize him, or any family member, in front of your friend,or
worse yet, within earshot of strangers. Avoid unnecessary arguments, fights.
If your home life is not happy, or if there is abuse, even verbal abuse,
find a counselor you can talk with confidentially. You do not want to "inherit"
dysfunctional beliefs, attitudes or behaviors.

7. Join an alternate group- one involved with positive activities, ie:
Girl Scouts. Don't worry if something you like is not "cool" or acceptable
to your friends. There should always be room in your life for some new friends.

8. Learn a few skills that will help you long after you graduate: cooking, baking,
sewing- even if it is just learning the right ways to sew on buttons.
Nothing is worse than a college roommate who can't make a cup of cocoa or sew on
their own buttons! It will also impress your male friends & help save money
for other things. Be independent enough to take care of yourself.

9. Take stock of what is important to you. Do you spend too much time shopping?
Do you never wear the same thing twice? Do you already share clothing with a
younger sister or donate to the needy? Figure it out. If you have more than
20(?) pairs of shoes, then re-think what possessions are worth keeping.
Maybe you have no hardback books, an original piece of art, etc.?
Take a break in a different environment outside of school- think retreat.
If you haven't been to museums lately, then go. Take a friend, or go alone.
Do you spend more time on the cell, texting, internetFacebook than face-to-face with
people? If you do, then limit it. Don't harass or post harrassing messages to
anyone. Just don't do it. Forget about nasty phone calls, too.


10.Write your own list of goals other than homework, college. If you have a
boyfriend, make sure he is a good guy, not a mean guy who may turn on you.
If you are a positive person, the negative ones will not want to stay around
you for too long. This will be a good thing- a new outlook!